I “hired” my friend as an interior designer. What she’s proposed for my house has left me dumbfounded.

Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

I need help firing my good friend as my interior designer. In my defense, I never intended to hire her in the first place: I asked friends for their recommendations, and she said she’d like to give it a try. She isn’t an interior designer, but wants to develop a fallback career due to layoffs in her industry.

I said sure and gave her a detailed overview of what I’m looking for. The problem is, she isn’t following it—at all. It’s kind of become an exercise in what she would change about my house, design ideas that would suit her house but not mine, and making very expensive recommendations that aren’t in the scope of the project. She does expect to be paid, but we didn’t discuss how much. I want to hire a professional and get out of this awkwardness but I don’t know how. She’s sensitive, and I’m also aware that she’s worried about her family’s financial future, but I don’t think I can take on the responsibility of solving that for her. I don’t want her to keep wasting her time sending me ideas I’m not going to use, and I don’t know if I need to pay her for the time she’s already spent (even though it’s been unsuccessful)?

—Leave My Home Alone

Dear Leave My House Alone,

Mixing business with friendships is tricky. Sometimes it can work out beautifully. Sometimes it’s a disaster.

In your case, there’s no good way to stop this madness without hurting someone’s feelings. But, try this: “Friend, you know I care deeply about you but this isn’t working for me. I don’t want to keep wasting your time trying to find things you think I’ll like when you could be building your business and helping other people. I’m going to call time on this project for now. Thank you so much.” Then, I’d hand her a written thank-you note with a gift card to her favorite store or restaurant.

It could be that she’ll push back and ask for cash. Galling, but not unheard of. Then, you’ll have a decision to make. If you want to preserve the friendship, you can ask how much she thinks is fair, given that nothing has worked for you. Then you and she will negotiate in good faith something that works for both sides. If this isn’t a friendship you care to continue, you can say no, that often designers simply get a percentage of the monies actually spent. And you’re unable to do more than the gift card.

But if your friendship comes out of this unscathed, and one day she asks if you’re still thinking about changing your decor, you should politely demur by saying you’ve decided to go in a different direction. Then stop crowd-sourcing decorating ideas. If and when you find a different designer, be sure to sign an agreement that spells out what the designer will do for you, and how much you’ll pay for all of their services.

—Ilyce

Classic Prudie

A few months ago, I got a new coworker, “Kelsey,” in the cubicle next to mine. Since we returned to work in person last year, a group of us more recent hires eat lunch together on Fridays, and we welcomed her into the lunch routine. Kelsey is fun and gets along with everyone, but the way she interacts with me individually sets me on edge.